top 5 ways to make ur gf break up with u.

ok i was wondering.. what my blog is actually for. issit some song blog? or some pic blog? or some jokes blog. so i decided it shall be what i like the most -- jokes!

i realised pple keep telling me they miss my hilarious posts. damn. so far on blogspot only got 1, the toilet one. (according to them)

ok lor. so anyways i was coming back from playing bball just now and i was thinking of the top 5 ways to make ur gf(s) break up with u. cause for pple like me it's always a problem when u have too many.

JOKING.

anyway before that here's another craig david song, as promised, from his latest album the story goes. its called johnny and it's a really nice track, i reckon it will become some really hot hit on the charts soon. it's a story song, and i love story songs. story songs are songs which have lyrics that sorta like tell a story. it's damn fun listening to such songs.

anyways this song is abt a guy called johnny (duh). he's a bully at sch and he bullies craig david. listen and try to get the story through the lyrics, lyrics are provided at the end of the entry. ENJOY THIS SONG IT'S REALLY DAMN NICE.

sidetrack a little, it seems EVERYONE knows abt my HAIR CUT. dammit. all laugh at me, although some told me quite cool, and it is! well sort of. shou yee aka shou stopper aka shouminator told me that i look like brock lesnar, kuan fu told me i look like The Rock and he even said i looked cute. well that adds on to my point that he IS gay but never mind. and for some reason i don't wanna post a pic of me with my new hair cut! wahahaha.

back to my top 5 ways to make ur gf break up with u.

five : piss her off. this can be done through the universal way of dao-ing her and not bothering to return calls/smses/msn chat msgs. but the best ways, according to desperadoz.blogspot.com, are calling her fat/ugly. either way is a straight piss off as girls are known to be sensitive to these 2 things.

safety level: unsafe. especially if ur gf is some ah girl with many ambiguous connections, u'll most probably find some big macho guys waiting outside ur sch. worst still u wake up to a heavy stench and find out a pig's head decided to mysteriously appear at ur front gate. hell hath no fury a woman scorned.

four : sms the 'wrong girl'. one of the ingenious ways (yeah right) invented by modern man. suppose ur gf is joanne, send an sms to her with sth like
1) 'hey jennifer, miss u sooo much.. luv u baby=P'.
2) better still, 'hey jeffrey u were such an animal in bed just now ;)'

safety level : unsafe. either u make her real sad and depressed u piss her off like mad. especially if u sent sth like sms number 2. not only u piss her off she'll probably commit suicide.

three : i wanna concentrate on my studies. one of the most classic methods, and although quite lame, still works sometimes. giving evidence of bad results and failing grades may enhance ur reliability. of course, everyone knows that ur failing grades arent due to ur gf, rather, ur constant dota-ing/maple-ing.

safety level: safe, unless ur gf is some violent girl who doesnt buy lame excuses. unsafe, even pissing off, if ur msn nick still reads 'DOTA NOW, MSG ME NOW!!!!!'.

two : act retarded/crazed/psycho. this is an easy and, for some pple, doesnt actually need any acting.
1) bring ur gf out for a meal at a restaurant and start stabbing ur pork chop/chicken cutlet with ur knife at unbelievable speeds with a pissed off look on ur face.
2) insist on playing movies like Scream 1/2/3, Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Masscre, Kill Bill on loop mode on ur dvd player.
3) say things like 'isnt cutting so much better than sex?'
4) insist on playing bloody knuckles with ur gf and knock her knuckles inhumanely hard.

safety level: very safe. ur gf will start saying 'u're nuts' instead of 'i want ur nuts'. ur gf will leave u immediately unless she replies 'definitely,' to point number 3. if she whips out a knife, run for ur life. it isnt funny anymore.

one : i'm VERY tempted to put "cut a hairstyle like keefe's" but i must convince everyone that my hair is actually quite cool so i shall not!

one : act gay. the best method, in desperadoz.blogspot.com's opinion. unlike reason number 2, which automatically fails if ur gf is ALSO retarded/crazed/psycho, ur gf will leave u even if she's lesbian.
1) insist on watching 'Brokeback Mountain' over and over again, focusing each time on the gay scenes and making 'ooooh..how nice!' comments.
2) say things like 'darling, isnt going from the back a much better alternative?'
3) make comments on how that guy is soooo hot while walking along orchard with ur gf.
4) start shaving every single bit of hair on ur body.
5) frequently tell her ur ass feels sore and explain with 'i got mounted real hard, you know.'

heh. anyways here are the lyrics for johnny!

Craig David - Johnny

Its another day in school and he's jus walking out the door,
got his rucksack on his back and his feet dragging on the floor,
always late for when he's questioned he cant think of what to say,
"how's the bruises?" from the teachers, hoping that they go away,
even tho his mom and dad they both got problems of their own,
called a nut case at 22 but he still rather be at home,
cries himself to sleep and prays when he wakes up things might have changed,
but everything still the same.....
but didnt you say, you always said that i should speak up hmm
but it seems like all the things you said to me before were nothing at all because

CHORUS
I keep tellin you that johnny's hitting me thats why i'm late for school, (but you never listen),
instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things i didnt do (for what it's worth),
i didnt even want to tell you anything in case it made things worse (jus so you know),
everytime i say that johnny's hitting me, hey mom and dad it hurts

Every day keeps on repeating like a record on replay, slowly getting off the bus with johnny waiting at the gates,
like a friend who will smile away but then be calling out his name,
put his arm around his neck,whisper "now give me all your change!",
to afraid to make a scene or plea with him to letting go,
he jus takes whatevers comin feels the pain with every blow,
tries to blame himself to make himself hurt soon as he gets home,
but everything still the same....
But didnt you say, you always said that i should speak up hmm
but it seems like all the things you said to me before were nothing at all because

I keep tellin you that johnny's hitting me thats why i'm late for school, (but you never listen),
instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things i didnt do (for what it's worth),
i didnt even want to tell you anything in case it made things worse (jus so you know),
everytime i say that johnny's hitting me, hey mom and dad it hurts

You always said that i should speak up hmm,
and to never be afraid to come and tell you if i needed to talk (find me there to talk),
well i dont know the meaning of love hmm,
coz it seems like all the things you said to me before were nothing at all because...

I keep tellin you that johnny's hitting me thats why i'm late for school, (but you never listen),
instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things i didnt do (for what it's worth),
i didnt even want to tell you anything in case it made things worse (jus so you know),
everytime i say that johnny's hitting me, hey mom and dad it hurts